I can't speak for all dudes, but I had a similar situation, and the reason I never wanted to take if further or fall for her the way she fell for me is because it was too convenient to keep the situation the way it was. Plus, I didn't want to something better to come along and be stuck in a relationship. Now that sounds fucked up as I think about it but at the time that's how it was. As a guy, especially the kinda guy I am, I don't get or have emotions like that. So I never thought, hey this girl actually might love me. I was just happy with the moment. But I feel you on the "sometimes you like someone way more than they like you" thing. And karma is a mean bitch. So don't stress it. Everything is a learning experience.
Now pass that shyt, I'm tryin to get lifted =]
so facebook is not the place to vent...so i'm gonna let it all out to tumblr..
I’ve been talking to this boy since late January to early February, I’ve known him for a few years and used to be close with his cousin. Since we recently started hanging out, I fell for him. It was unavoidable for the most part, considering we’ve been hanging out every day. It started when I would go over there with my homeboy to smoke…as I went there more and more, I realized just how sexy and attractive this boy really was. We would all sit in my truck and smoke out, and I would stare at him, unaware because I was high. He noticed and soon we began to text and smoke, just the two of us. I really enjoy it when it’s just us. Weed brings out the real in people, I think. So when we sit around and get high, we talk, we talk about everything…I love it. Before long we became intimate, it surprised me because I’m not that type of person anymore. I don’t do “fuck” buddies, I do relationships. But we both enjoyed it and had fun. I spent the night with him a few times. One time we slept at our friends house out in the stix. We got really high and then had sex, it was nice, it felt so right. I woke up to him kissing all over me an hour later and we had sex again. Then in the morning his arm was around me and he was kissing on my neck and back…it felt like it was meant to be. I fell for him way harder than he fell for me, if he even did. He said that we couldn’t be together because of all the drama it would bring. His ex’s aren’t big fans of mine, in fact they’re some of my biggest haters. I accepted that, but how could he expect to spend so much time with me and become intimate and me not catch feelings for him. I don’t know what makes me so attracted to him, every time I see him, I get this funny feeling all through out my body. He makes me smile.
The other night my friend picked me up to go over there to smoke with them. When we got there we just bought some grade and left, with plans to return after we took care of business. As we were leaving, a car pulled up and a girl got out of it. The boy I like came out of the house to get her, they proceeded to go in his house…It felt like someone threw a rock at my chest. It hurt, a lot. I didn’t want to show it in front of my new found friend, so I said “oh, Fuck him,” and other shit like that. That moment I realized how much I liked him. When we went back over there to smoke with my homeboy the girl was gone, but while we were outside, she and her friend returned and went in his house. I texted him and asked if he wanted to smoke, and he simply said, “Na.” This hurt me. He texted me the next morning and asked what time I left next door, I don’t know why. But me and my girl ended up going there last night and smoking with him, we had a lot of fun and some goodass laughs. Those are the nights I will never forget, the memories I will always have of this simple crush, that led to me falling hard for a boy who didn’t feel the same.
It hurts when someone doesn’t like you as much as you like them, because you sit around and wonder if you’re not good enough, or what exactly it is that you could change to make them want to be with you. Never make someone a priority, when they make you an option. I would’ve done anything for this boy. I drove 24 miles everyday and night, 2/3 times a day, to see him and spend time with him. I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be.